Friday, December 7, 2007

visions always context-based


things have been fine.

I spent Wednesday researching art of union (, and via artofunion, HOME), plus my other friends/acquaintances in Costa Rica: Rod Rylander, Evan Marks. Partly prompted by Bill mentioning his son, Michael Shames (UCAN god) is going down there setting up eco-resorts. Partly after reading bluejay's airfare site and seeing I could get there for $250.

Thursday reading planetizen.

Tuesday sleeping?

Having a fine time.

Sort of content just to let life happen.

Not really.

Would like to

guide more?

--Now, Art of Union / Heaven on Mother Earth--

In many ways they are doing what I proposed doing--

Community, land trust, spiritual foci,

Many good things.


I saw the guy celebrating that he lives near a waterfall.

I wasn't super excited. (checked to see what the costa rican cities were like) (we have that here, in los padres NF. . . but not all the fruit and frogs. . . and year-round warm.)

I seem to remain more excited about walking around New York City.
(Why am I not going to participate in Art Of Union? or some other Costa Rica project? Too much work? What work would I ever want to do?)

Oh-- nevermind.


So I return to urban planning.


I enjoy reading this--

very much.


The thought of being a researcher again, and writing papers, and then getting an office job, or being a planner, running public meetings. . .


We'll see.

The plan for now:

continue reading planetizen-- the intersectionsblog.


Today, rode 2hrs to get a pass so I can do challenge course work on a Navy Base.

I have been doing ok taking care of self, having a good routine.

alternate walk/swim mornings. Bike across highway to walk near lake murray. In the evenings, usually play around in warm outdoor pool at SDSU. Visiting with friend most evenings.


it is exciting to think how much better urban environments could become.

fascinating how complex the process of creating them is.


A black guy (I was biking through the "poorer" neighborhoods) cheered me on (I'm on a lowrider recumbent with a bright flashing light on my helmet and florescent vest, florescent tow-truck gloves I found on my last long ride). Something like, "Alright! Way to keep your money guy!"

And that was a main reason I was biking. The round-trip would cost me $5 by transit.


I guess I'm somewhat done being angry at the landscape.

If I wanted to do something about it, I would be.

Biking through it (almost no one does) is my part.


So, no grand vision.


A Posting (Tuesday night): Ecopoopia: carfreeness/physical activity and veganism

Notes from this past interval:

A critique of "stay where you are":

She felt Wendell Berry would say “Stay at home, live a sustainable life and get out of the death culture.” Thomas Berry would say, “Discover your dream and life purpose and live fully into it.” From "An evening with Thomas Berry" by Frank Cook.


. . . a piece in The New Yorker by Nick Paumgarten on commuting in America entitled "There and Back Again". The tease at the beginning sums up the entire piece: "People may endure miserable commutes out of an inability to weigh their general well-being against quantifiable material gains."

At the turn of the 20th century,William Phelps Eno invented the rules of the road to reduce the number of accidents caused by horse-drawn vehicles; he is credited with devising the stop sign, the stop light, the yield sign, the crosswalk, the pedestrian island, the one-way street, the traffic circle, and the taxi stand. In addition, he codified driving on the right side of the road.


Sunday, December 2, 2007

to look forward to each day; watching the wind in the trees

You might have noticed:
I've not yet renounced everything to live the life of a homeless beggar. Who meditates.

I sort of came to the resolution that I won't renounce everything.

Or that much. At least not yet. Not until I have to?

Then: If I'm not going to renounce, what will I do.

And I got to looking at jobs.


Also what occurred--there is a decent (ongoing) challenge course work opportunity coming up--for a while I thought there was no go on that--and then it came back.

My mood followed that a bit.

Then I got to thinking about working for land trusts or doing some sort of urban planning.


One thing comes back to me though.

In a way I am totally free--it seems I don't really care whether I'm homeless or not, or even alive or not--so I am free to follow divine guidance (or divine lack of guidance).

On the other hand, while I am alive,

I tend to return to comfortable situations.


I've been affected by the guy who runs the soilandhealth web site/library (Steve Solomon). He writes:

When I needed to earn a living I made my work into play. My father wished that one on me. In a moment of great sincerity he said that he only wanted me to accomplish one thing in my life: that I would wake up each morning and look forward to what I had to do that day--something he frequently failed to achieve himself.


at this point there's nothing I really have to do. Except care for my part of our body.

the rest goes into caring for mind?

so I've been sitting around--sometimes--when I'm not on an internet research binge (like this morning: affordable housing, how to buy a house)

Meditating sometimes.

watching the wind in the trees.

while chewing mindlessly on unpopped popcorn kernels. . .

I thought I was going to contemplate applying to teach sailing.

That's something I was thinking of doing to get out of the house more, and to have more connections.

Oh. What I realized when going to SANDAG for the meeting (downtown, at least an hour bike ride, through pouring rain on that day), is that simply having to transport oneself from one place to the next can be mind-quieting.

It can help to be doing something more complex than walking--such as riding a bike or driving.

All those people can actually like driving--I understand this--and many of them listen to audio books and other things like that.


Once one has decided one needs to go from point a to b,

while one is doing that, one doesn't really need to wonder what to do in life . . .

So, I miss new york city a bit.

I was looking at the "streetsblog" started by some people there.


At the same time, I enjoyed my walk today, and could stop and be still along the way without getting cold.

So this is a bit of what is going on here.

The only work I'd love getting up for--I think--

is probably outside,

and probably does not involve guiding gaggles of people.

And could be away from cars. (and all engines)

I saw that UCSD needs mariners/seamen.


But part of what I'm doing is staying still.

My trip downtown and back was positive.

And opened me to traveling more.

The new challenge course work involves a commute.


Wallace Wattles has affected me a bit (on how to be great / a genius).

I seem to waver between wanting to be great

and enjoying bare consciousness: how amazing--I can hear, feel, see. . .


And since I have no desires that are not met- - -

Why should I do any more than sit about being amazed that I can hear, feel, see?


Because someday, Colin, you will have desires? There will be no food or shelter?

Or because humans have the drive to grow, to self-exceed (Wattles, Aurobindo),

And sitting about being amazed that you can hear, feel, see,

does not cause you to grow?


Ok. So you have a picture of how things are going.

This picture here is not representative of an average of my time:

I've been driven: thinking about affordable housing, and that land trust idea.

I've been despairing (see post from before going to SANDAG). That happened to be a grey day. So that could just be the weather.


It does not seem like it would take much to buy a $200,000 condo. . .

Unfortunately nothing with salary that I've thought of passes the "would you look forward to getting up? to what you have to do?" test. . .

The land trust / coop angle seems a bit of a hassle.

And if I play god: the people are doing o.k.--my interference isn't really called for-- [everything is perfect as it is. . . and incomplete]

unless it can be play.


And I guess that works.

10 or 20 years from now maybe I'll be sleeping in the canyons or in a car or on a boat or in a shed or in an office building or who knows.

My vision of self (following Wattles):

I don't worry about that.

(I don't think I'm telling the truth there--unless I'm practicing being peaceful my mind is constantly seeking for something good to do).