Don

Written 2008-01-27-0652, Posted 2008-01-31-1434

I'm back. I.

We, for two + weeks.

Don, I.

Mad, mindless eating for quite a while. Mindless, maybe not mad.

Goodies are gone now. All that's left is

- flour to make into bread.

- a basket to finish weaving.

- a verge to plant.

- a rat trap to make.

- amaranth to winnow.

- a life to re-evaluate.

wounds to heal:

- poison oak in unpleasant places,

maybe probably still on some articles, the oil.

- a hurt knee.

- rotted back teeth.

another way of living witnessed, experienced, to forget.

Upcoming events:

- feb 2, sister's birthday

- feb 3, go to circus

- feb 3, city repair

- feb 9, verge planting.

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nothing else.

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read all the papers.

ate all the food.

no internet back here, and used it all yesterday.

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itched all the itch.

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first Josh. Now Don.

two accomplished men.

Don, not looking like one to most people-- never showers, only washes, swims. Scavenges.

grows tons of food. Holds land. Plants trees. Drives a small car. Fixes cars. Skilled. Sufficient. Producer. Sustainable.

Looking back, on --- [deathbed], for life to be a success, what would have had to happen.

Is this a question to consider.

or just meditate.

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also, my friend, [I am] so small.

Not helpful.

There is not any other.

[I'm] gone.

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So what do I come back to here, having been gone so long in We. Piggybacking on, creating with, another's motivation?

Don, a grower, a creator.

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Stillness. Silence.

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Was reading Michael E. Arth.

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[I tear] down.

[Read] to reject.

[Sense] to reject. To contract against. To shut out.

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[stew] in, [reinforce], [enjoy](?), [my] own isolation.

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0732

she's back. Just now. We meet at 10 ish.

to go to rec ctr .

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oh, no. I cannot go anymore. no association is better. not so.

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the life that was here stabilizes.

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The route offered out by Don--

primitive skills gatherings,

the people met there. Like him.

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Not just like, but of similar freedom.

From addiction.

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He is the master.

He is renunciation and abundance.

He is Buddha.

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He is energy, activity. Yang. Obsessed.

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Has use for the world. Has use for life.

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The migrants, too. The migrants in the forest. In Pine Creek Wilderness.

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He is vitality, vigor, health, in weathered, well-used skin.

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0812

I guess there's no more to say. I'm not Don. Not Michael E. Arth. and I'm not not.

I can be still. Undriven.

So I let it all go. What stays, .

change

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peace,
colin.