Wednesday, October 10, 2007

+ organizing principle, follow focus

this is a time of day I often want to eat and read unconsciously.

the interesting development:

consider activities and situations when my mind is not wandering from body or questioning the current activity:



reading (sometimes)

walking to check on fig trees

(all of those a problem in excess)

walking to and from places or just walking in interesting places


whenever that happens during a health-enhancing activity that is a great thing: such as with dance or exercising. Or creating something.


so if mind is wandering: go do something else. . .where mind doesn't wander. This is key to the intolerance of staying here. I can't deal with a daily routine where either mind questions all of it or I cope / seek focus in unhealthy ways.


This writing exercise is having effect. Providing a sort of extra space in every moment. . . "what would I write about this time?"

On waking this morning, I eventually got to posting the last blog post and writing two emails. I cleaned up and eventually left house and went to park and sat.

As an organizing principle, I continued to notice I don't have one beyond organizing for this next homeless trip.

My organizing principle can be: organize self so that I can be open for the possibility of having an organizing principle.


I also noticed how much having Grandma Ann around affects my behavior.

I do wish to be free of this I now realize--hence the homeless plan.

So I will be leaving here. On next return, perhaps, I will work on selling, getting rid of stuff and leaving. (going nowhere)

I also notice my lack of community/compatriots, but don't see that anything can be done. (beyond becoming homeless, posessionless and free to seek / follow / have time for friends anywhere)

And I am aware of how my suffering is different from suffering in other parts of world.


Fiddling on a larger scale: managed to process harvested beans, corn.


All that is left to do is pack for trip. I am on schedule to do this more gracefully.


A difficulty is a friend dealing with landlord issues. Another looking for a job.

Both problems I don't have now.

With one, I shared the system view of Oshry: tops, middles, bottom.

I did not suggest attachment was an issue.

A buddhist way may have been just to listen and breathe.


I think I may be learning a theory of action--not just the quieting of mind.

Because this issue of organizing principle for all behavior--well, the idea that mind seeks health-promoting activity on which it can retain focus.

Until found, prepare to be ready to act when it is found.

And practice having focused mind regardless?



No comments: