2007-10-09-2158
The purpose of this is not more than . . . to help me be more mindful. (& to not cause others to suffer).
Areas of felt lack (of creativity?):
on rise, looked through paper. Reading paper almost always feels lacking--like I wish I weren't.
on leaving--found thing on thing to fiddle with.
I thought then, "lacking organizing principle, mind/I find(s) endless things to fiddle with before I leave."
Good news:
I walk to park, and begin by sitting (watching mind).
Lesson this time: Watching how in times of mindlessness, mind is not questioning. At harder times, mind seems to be questioning . . . such as, questioning purpose.
Reading can be that way (mindless, mind not questioning purpose).
Fiddling with computer.
Nose picking.
Rubbing eyes.
Mind just slips into silence and physical behavior continues
Raiding the fig tree.
Did kata, not with great focus.
Raided fig tree. And watched how mind didn't question or wander as it did when I was making self progress through kata, or just sit.
Returned home,
Much time fiddling with computer. . . / handheld.
Again, mind not questioning or wandering. Mind just jumps from next thing to next--as with figs--fig to fig, scanning for the next one.
Organizing principle at those moments: eat figs; carry out some particular computer task--while allowing self to follow, check, seek distraction along way.
Tasks (whimsy tasks?) on computer accomplished.
Then, motivated by grandma ann's impending arrival, took care of some yard-type work, enjoyed some focus.
Then returned to computer.
-----------------------------------
Organizing principle.
2. Commit Yourself Completely to Liberation in this LifetimeFrom John P. Milton.
I personally recommend that you commit yourself, one hundred percent, to complete liberation, the enlightened realization of fundamental truth, in this lifetime. Further, I recommend you dedicate all the fruits of your path to the greatest possible service for all beings.
This staying up late--.
Peace,
Colin
(the next morning, 6 a.m.):
I want to add that I've also been focusing on "keeping the mind with the body, inside the body." Ajaan Sao teaches this. And I think in Thanissaro Bhikkhu's instructions, he suggests focusing on the breathing in the abdomen.
Thich Nhat Hanh also teaches keeping the mind with the body by focusing on the breathing.
Wilber and the integral group share a practice called "embodied reading" (something like that), which involves checking in with the effect of reading on one's whole being. I could do the same with all activities.
In meditation, and other times, I notice that mind wandering usually involves the mind leaving the body.
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