Thursday, October 25, 2007

invulnerable space

07-10-25 20:58
I don't want to write you. At some point, I must not (narrow view).

I was there.

Wake, paper, figs, found, ate, candied apple, figs, friend, her question (interpretation), my response, cook rice, beets, pumpkin, beans, eat with her, walk, sit in 54th canyon, spitting some out, leave (long sit), to room on campus, read Mysticism chapter in _Varieties of Religious Experience_ on computer (long read), sitting fiddling at first, finally quieting fiddling, finally mostly just sitting and reading, contemplate pumpkin pictures, sleeping dragon,


shower at ARC, walk here, cook beans, rice, etc., with stove, sit with Gann with TV, eat, out back, under sky.

Eating candied apple--the major slip.


Eat legumes + rice 2x/day would be best--morning, evening--maybe.

Transcend routine.

Hero's Journey every day.

"mystic is *invulnerable*" - James

Remove intention, add attachments?

(not addressed?)


What am I doing with friend?

The nothing business plan.

Being with the empty space. Clicking building [cooling down?] brings me back.

Transcend routine, not freedom from it, sun rises, sets, cycles always there.

Not so skillful response to friend's unskilled interpretation/action.

I think we're onto bigger game, who knows.

Being with the space where that is coming from. Being with my attachment to her.

Trying to be with hers.

The support of doing nothing.

If you'd ever like to hang out and do nothing, let me know, I'm getting pretty good at it.

Later the nothing business plan--it is not really nothing--it is --

Trainings: I do nothing--just follow along.

Insight: the awareness of the effect of eating with other, of doing nothing with other.


Next, more chapters to read?

More sitting?

More eating.

Any transcending of routine? A larger cycle? A simpler cycle?

Lost the intention section because I know the intention:

To be there.

The maintaining of that space, "ripples on the surface of being."

To spend time there. Alone, with others. In face of all.

I lose it with food I guess.

But bring that space into all places.

Seek more challenging places in which to bring that space--that is attachment to friend--

to food too?

Friend: desire there. The space is required.

Food: desire there. No space required. But I need to bring it in. Want to bring it in.

Can I continue to neglect --

The mystic is invulnerable. TNH cries because he is human.

Food, then.

The last place I'm really vulnerable?

The last attachment without space?

Can I bring that space I have with her there?

Give up that mindlessness?

Give up that mindlessness?

Let's finish this, go eat more perhaps, and plan, intend to address this area, over time.


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