Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Sleeping Dragon

07-10-24 19:59
My grandma made this easy. I was on the Internet on the computer inside, then she comes along.

So here I am in the back.

I had to go inside last night because the air got so bad my throat was bothered.

Inside, I ate and read--this was 3am or so--typical indoor poor habit behavior, exploiting the sleep/eat motivation link, I guess.

But overall the effects were not so bad.

A main insight of the day was how quickly my mind starts interpreting sense impressions of Grandma Ann.

I was laying there--she is making noise in the kitchen, or letting the cat out, or, like right now, starting to wash something in the garage.

Those are fairly close to the sense-impressions. . .

But the near-immediate emotional reaction on my part to all of those things is usually strong, unpleasant.

What irritates me more, the dog barking, or my reaction to it?

Well, for better or worse I am so much happier avoiding those sense impressions entirely.

As long as the air is good enough, it is great to be able to be back here.

Hmm. Also, about today, while I got to visit my friend's cat, my friend was not there.

So I get some experience with the way of being--the flatter line--of a day without her.


I woke up, posted what I wrote. I think I ate some, looked at paper. I ended up going back to sleep, and slept a long time--till 1pm?

Then to visit figs--and met a fellow fig eater--an older European, I believe. He also eats the prickly pears.

The massive fig harvests are about over.

Then I lay under the tree nearby, where I have been sitting on occasion, and eventually roused myself to sit.

Then to my friend's house. Then to campus. I found an empty room with a computer. I looked at the slideshows of monks and of photos of the day.

I did sleeping dragon meditation (laying). The room was cool. Outside the air was still oppressive, somewhat.

This took me to my intention.

I was beginning to define it as along the lines of:

doing as little as possible

having as little effect as possible

causing as little change as possible

Not teaching--only being an example in the way I am now.

Perhaps others would act similarly, independently.


Mostly, I enjoyed awareness. Just enjoyed being there, on the cool floor, breathing cool air, in the subdued light, eyes closed, body lax, warm enough.

I am here to be aware.

I am being breathed.

My thoughts are being thought/ I am being thought.

I am just aware.

To be aware.

Unconcerned about contribution,

helping others do nothing could be a contribution.

Ignore it and it will go away--it or your awareness.

I am not prepared, I am not the hero. I am not the doer.

Being there.

I also thought off and on about our pumpkin carving fun.

I wanted to call my friend to see if she might be there, there was no simple way.

Having no alternatives, I went to lift weights--a good thing.

Six thirty or so, walked back here.

Sat watching the newspeople trying to keep talking for a while.

Eating figs.
The mind running away with its interpretations.

The time around the gann insight--with relatives, interpretations of sense impressions replace the sensations furiously, fast.

When I managed to sit after eating figs.

Sleeping dragon on the cool floor.


Walking home.

Approaching friend's place, emotionally aware, watching.

See above.

Subverting the bodhissatva vow.

Do nothing. Be an example to others, without seeking to be.

See above.

I did also consider getting out of dodge.

There will be more disasters. In one of them I may be, uncomplainingly, run over, unprepared, unworried.

But no sense in staying here and in breathing foul air.

But, doing nothing. . .

There really is no way.

It is a sort of least effort principle.

I am motivated for health, though.

Intention: what can I do that helps me be the most healthy?

Is a glowing pumpkin.



I am so successful not thinking ahead.

My main points are: writing and posting this. Lifting weights. Some sitting, just being aware. Getting out of the house/staying away. Probably stopping by friend's place.

Nothing, nothing beyond that.

Some bushes could use some trimming.

I could plant chard, turnips, radishes.

Paint gutters.


I also take pictures of garden once a month--coming up.

I could order kits from Jardine, so I could sew sleeping quilt, pack.

Could arrange visit to monastery.

Could read.

Just sit.

Volunteer with a voluntary service organization. Or anywhere.


Contemplate the anti-bodhisattva vow.

Help as many people suffer as much as possible?


the non-agenda, more or less.

Nothing to do, nowhere to go.

Just be right here,

or there,

sleeping dragon meditation on a cool floor,

body just warm enough.


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